Bridges #WEPFF Challenge No. 5 featuring unknown title #amwriting #flashfiction

So, I’m on vacation and totally forgot to schedule this post. Also, I started working on it a few days ago and then forgot about it being too busy celebrating birthday month and working on a new blog project. This piece is unfinished and unpolished. My plan is to turn the segments into journal entries, but as you can see, I have a long way to go.

Well, all in all, I don’t think this is my worst work, but it shouldn’t be too bad. I look forward to seeing the other entries and thank Denise Covey and Yolanda Renée for yet, another, great challenge.

~
Unknown Title

Figie’s all the time going on about things as if he knows what he’s saying, but everyone knows he just hears things and repeats’em. I guess this time around, Figie heard something that no one wanted him to go around repeat’n.

So, here we are, running for our lives. Well, he’s running for his life and I’m trying to help’em, but as soon as others realize I’m help’n em, I’ll too be on the run. Been traveling by night and hold’n up during the day. Too many folks round here so dependent on solar power that life pretty much comes to a standstill come night fall. Sure folks use lunar power a bit, but none bother much to go out when everything inside is all lit up like it’s still daytime.

I hoarded a bunch of portable recharging batteries a few years back in case I ever decided to leave town and do some adventure walk’n. Folks just don’t adventure walk like they used to. I member people laughing at me for wasting space on old tech that probably wouldn’t work, but who’s laugh’n now?

I’m pretty much doing everything on my own to keep me and Figie alive. He’s a complete wreck; shake’n and twitch’n all the time. Spect’n someone to come punch’n out of the dark and kill’em in his tracks. Crazy thing is, after explain’n the situation, Figie hasn’t said another word. I have no idea what he heard that’s got folks com’n after’em.

Soon well be reach’n Pillar Peak. I figure, we could hold up there for a good while. One way up, no way down, and too cold for most to live. With us charging our batteries during the day and keeping a fire going all the time, we should be able to get by.

Food shouldn’t be a problem wit the way the fowls dip and dive all around. Most times you can’t even see the exact point of Pillar Peak ‘cause of all the swarm’n fowl. Wit the collapsible dome we been using for shelter and my skills with a sling, we’ll be just fine for a while.

Well, it’s been a full Lunar since we bunkered at Pillar Peak and not a soul’s come look’n for us. I’m thinking maybe Figie’s done lost it. It was fun for a while. Got to go on that adventure walk I always been talk’n bout, but now what. Just catch’n fowl, keep’n the fire, and sleep’n. Tonight Figie’s gonna tell me what this is all about or I’m break’n camp and head’n back wit or wit out’em.

Holy walk’n spirits are we in a terrible mash. No one’s come look’n yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Stupid Figie, hang’n around gathering other folks knowledge instead of learn’n his own. What a fool. To think he once had me believe’n you didn’t need to bother wit read’n and learn’n if you just pay attention to other folk. “Other folk,” he’d say, “they’ll teach ya e’er thing ya need to know, if ya just listen and be patient.” So, what happens when you learn something you don’t want to know… I’ll tell ya. You run for your life.

Stupid Figie. Hanging around the High Lord Scholars, all the time trying to sound smarter than anybody would believe him to be, found out where the Bridge is. Heck, he found out that it’s actually real. I mean, no one goes looking for the Bridge no matter how much wonder and power might be instore, ‘cause no one actually thinks it’s real. But foo on me, it’s real and Figie knows where it is. And they know he knows.

Now I’m twitch’n day and night just like Figie. He’s at least come back to his senses a bit and his help’n out. We’re alternating sentry duties. I’m still hunting all the grub, but he’s cook’n it and clean’n up after. Don’t really matter. Our nerves are so on edge, every pound we put on, we shake off in nerves. We won’t make it to the frost season; not up here. We gonna have to leave, but that’ll probably get us caught and killed. Seems no matter what we do or don’t do, we’re head’n to the Endless Ferry.

~

714 WIP- unkown title 2017 Copyright © Toinette J. Thomas
Seeking full critique.



Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords

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Toi Thomas

I like reading, writing, cooking, dancing, movies, and music. I'm a big kid and choose to see the world in my own special way. Yes, I'm educated, but I haven't let that stop me from being who I want to be. I'm a wife, teacher, author, blogger, and more.

29 thoughts on “Bridges #WEPFF Challenge No. 5 featuring unknown title #amwriting #flashfiction”

  1. Hi,
    When I saw the word Lunar, I began to get the feelings they were hiding out on the moon, or maybe not.
    However, it is an interesting take on the prompt.
    Good job.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat

    1. Thanks. It’s a major work in progress. I feel bad submitting it in this condition, but I would have felt even worse posting nothing at all.

    1. Well it’s a work in progress, and since I don’t know the whole story myself yet, I can, at least tell you that they end up going to find the Bridge.

    1. Glad to hear it. The bridge is a concept I’m still developing, but it will be very impactful to this world I’m building. I don’t want to give too much away.

  2. I’m not usually a big fan of respelling, but I have to say I like this one a lot. I felt the rhythm of the dialect, and I connected with your tale. Thumbs up.

    1. Thanks for saying that. I was nervous about putting this out. I’ve been reading a lot about the use of dialect and wanted to give it a shot.

  3. Hey Toi. I do love the dialect and you stayed true to it all the way through. Great voice and suits the story. I loved the inclusion of images of solar and lunar power. Grounded the story. For a WIP you’ve done well. I hope you’ll share it again when it sounds like you want it to.

    Great entry for the BRIDGES challenge Toi! Thanks!!

    Denise 🙂

  4. That was awesome Toi. I loved the voice, and the pacing. I was intrigued. You reeled out the story and the emotions expertly. Well done.

    1. Thank you. Pacing is another thing I’m working on. I’m trying to get better with my short works so it’ll spill over to my longer ones. Glad you like it.

  5. I liked the tone and the voice, the use of the vernacular adds an interesting layer to the whole. Enjoyed reading.

    1. Yes it is. There will be more lessons to learn as the story progresses. Thanks for checking it out.

  6. They are going to have to find door number three to get out of their damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation. I like how you used the dialect, sets it apart.

    1. Thank you. This story is a challenge to me and to the characters. I can’t wait to see how it all comes together in the end.

  7. Hi Toi – such an interesting story … and I’m glad there’ll be more – dialogue and the search for the bridge – while your dialect is fascinating to read … congratulations – cheers Hilary

    1. Thank you. I know the story needs lots of work, but I am glad to learn that I’ve at least written something people want to see developed more. I have my work cut out for me.

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