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Jewel Box #WEPFF Challenge featuring The Marble Collector #amwriting #flashfiction

I honestly wasn’t sure I’d make a contribution this time around, but I gave myself a challenge I just didn’t feel right walking away from. I had to dig into my dark side, a bit, on this one. I challenged myself to write from the POV of a villain but struggled to find a villain I could relate to. In the end, I created an anti-hero (sort of); someone who is clearly in the wrong, but thinks what they are doing is justified for a worthy cause. Hopefully, it doesn’t come off too forced. I’d love feedback on this because this is a learning project and will help me hone my skill as a writer.

5/1/19 Update-Thank you so much for this honor. It was a wonderful learning experience. Click this image to see the other winners.

4/24/19 Update- This story has been edited and altered based on feedback received in the comments of this post; click here to see the original submission.

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The Marble Collector

He wasn’t easy to find. Most of these guys come to me, but when things are slow, I go hunting. I spent hours scouring the web for ads and missed connections with just the right words and clues. I used to hate that these guys were so good at speaking in code, but now it’s part of the fun.

I enjoy the thrill of stalking my prey. Sometimes, the hardest part is picking just one to take down. The one I have my sights on now is probably the juiciest morsel yet.

There he is, now, exiting his place of business, just like clockwork. Stepping onto the pavement as though he’d escaped some terrible fate. Immediately pulling his tie away from his neck and shaking his head, to clear away the dullness of reality before walking to his car to begin living out his wildest fantasies.

~

This is where Mr. Lion will meet The Marble Collector. Right here in his home. Standing here watching him sleep like a baby, one would never guess the horrific acts that fuel his fantasies. Soon, though, everyone will know.

I’ve gathered all the evidence; photos, videos, IP addresses, “secret” IMs and DMs (guess his firewall isn’t as good as me). It’s all here and ready to be put on display for the world to see…

And when they see this lion for the coward he truly is, everyone will rest easier knowing that another monster has been put down.

~

This used to be my least favorite part of the challenge, but over the years, I’ve grown to appreciate it. I mean, there is something to be said about Retail Therapy. Today, I drove one hundred miles east of Mr. Lion’s home to buy supplies. The usual things such as heavy-duty garbage bags, plastic lining, gloves, etc.

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The hardest part of this hunt is always finding the right container for the evidence. I’d resorted to using a cheap knickknack box a while back and have kept up the tradition ever since. It was so comical the way the news journalist tried to piece together the significance of the box. Some thought it was a memento the monster had given one of his victims and that the victim was his killer. When I used a similar box the next time, the News finally began to report me as a serial killer.

Serial Killer is not a term I associate myself with, but if it helps to keep more monsters from coming out of the woods to attack the innocent, I’ll own it. Besides, I’m not the bad guy. I take down the bad guys.

~

He came home late, as usual. Slipping into his own back door so his neighbors have no idea the kind of fantasy life he lives. Stripped down from soiled clothes immediately placed in the washing machine, he was annoyed when it didn’t turn on. He decided to take his shower and address the clothes later. After he woke to find himself bound and gagged, I explained that I’d disabled the washing machine earlier so there’d be a blood trail leading back to his latest victim.

I used to not be able to do the last part of my ritual while the monster was still breathing, but now, I savor the moment when I scoop out the monster’s eyes. The same eyes used to glare at and ogle his victims. They will go nicely with my collection.

~

Ugh, this guy has been walking around for half an hour pretending like he’s into this stuff. I know what he really wants. Wish he would just go ahead and ask.

“Excuse me. This your store?”

I pull a strand of hair behind my ear and smile. “Sure is. Been into sci-fi and fantasy ever since I was a kid.”

His face lights up. “Whoa, really? Don’t know too many chi…, I mean, women who are into this stuff.”

I shrug, “Times are changing. Ain’t no shame in liking what you like, right?” I wink.

Just then a pack of kids comes through the door. “Heard you got some crazy cool marbles here.” I point to the side wall next to the window. I want to show these boys around, but I’m about to hook a new prey.

“Ah hem,” he lowers his head and whispers, “I heard you carry old photographs here. The kind you can’t really get anywhere else. Photos of some real out-of-this-world stuff.”

I smile, got him, and show him a card. “Read this, memorize it quickly. Make an appointment and don’t come back into the store without buying something. It looks better that way.”

He stares at the card, then rushes out the door. I walk up to the group of boys who all seem to have made their selections but are all just standing around the large jewel case behind the glass. I know exactly what they want.

“So, I guess you boys want to see my exclusive collection of realistic eye-ball marbles before you make your purchases don’t you?”

~

“Monsters, they think they are powerful because they take what they see and use and abuse it ‘til it’s gone. I know better. I take away their sight and show the world the cowards they really are.” ~ The Marble Collector

FCA-927-words- The Marble Collector 2019 Copyright © Toinette J. Thomas

Thanks to Jamie of uniquely maladjusted, I’ve turned this story into an unofficial Dexter fan fiction. I supposed this could be the story of what happens to Lumen Ann Pierce once she leaves Dexter.

Please visit other entries in this hop and enjoy some funny, scary, touching, and thought-provoking stories. You’ll be so glad you did.


Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords

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Books

#Review : The Campus Killer #crime #book

Title: The Campus Killer
Series: Detective Ali Ryan Series Book 1
Author: Andrew Hess
Genre: Detective, Crime Thriller
Pages: 359
Reading Level: Adult
Content: R (intense violence, mature subject matter, alcohol use)

I admit that I haven’t read a lot of crime thriller, but if they were all like this one, I think I’d read more. The Campus Killer pulls you in right from the start.

The story follows a hotshot female detective named Ali Ryan as she tries to convince everyone that a recent string of suicides is actually the work of a serial killer. Besides the case offering the reader tons of mystery and action, Ali also tries to have a life, which only makes her feel more real.

The story alternates points of view, between Ali and the killer, but we also get a chance to get into the mind of some of the other characters through the narrator who’s tapping us into the killer. It’s an interesting way to see multiple viewpoints of the story coming together. When I first realized that the pov changed I was concerned about being confused, but I wasn’t in the slightest.

My issue with some crime stories I’ve read is that I rarely like the hero, but I liked Ali and I really liked her sister. It was odd for me not to root for the bad guy, but this killer was so whiny that I couldn’t stand him, which only made me like the story more. You know how it goes; characters you love to hate.

The main reason I didn’t give this book a five was because of pacing and the ending. The pacing seemed to speed up and slow down, which isn’t bad, but I felt that it lacked a rhythm that would have it flow better. Of course, that could simply be one of my personal odd quirks. Honestly, the book is not hard to read at all.

As for the ending, it isn’t bad either. It’s quite good actually. It’s just not the ending I wanted. Some people want Cinderella to marry the prince and I want her to inherit her own kingdom. So the author and I didn’t have the same ideas for the ending; no big deal.

This is a really good adult “curl up next to a fire and sip something warm” read.

Disclaimer: I received a beta copy of this book for an honest critique and then later purchased the final product.

I’d like to give this book a 4 ½, but am sticking with a solid 4.

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This review has been posted to GoodReads. If you’d like to obtain a copy of this book, try this link.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords