A little while ago, Michael D’Agostino, of A Life Examined, brought up the idea of a new blog hop called Question of the Month. He thinks blog readers would like to know a little more about us, the bloggers. So we’re all gathering to show you guys who we are by taking part in the Question of the Month blog hop, the first Monday of each month.
Happy New Year Everyone! Let’s jump right in.
This month’s question is: What was your “growing up” moment?
I don’t think I can narrow this down to any one specific moment. Being one of those kids who was always told I was wise beyond my years, I matured early and became a realist shortly after. Here are a few things I think helped me grow up rather quickly.
1) I was too young to really experience the years of my mother being a single parent because she soon got remarried to the man I call Daddy, but she always instilled a since of independence into me and my sister just in case. Still, I have a few post toddler memories of doing things for myself so my mom wouldn’t have to.
2) I went to stay with some cousins when I was about 8 or 9 and remember ironing my own clothes for the first time because I was the youngest and didn’t want anyone to have to wait for me to get dressed. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I did it anyway.
3) The first year my mother, sister, and I lived in Virginia was a tough year in many ways I’d rather not discuss right now, plus my dad was still in Texas finishing up a degree (He went back to school for it). I was either 11 or 12 and I prepared my first Thanksgiving dinner… If I didn’t do it, we would not have had one that year. My sister helped, but it was still a life altering experience for me.
4) During my older sister’s rebellious teen years, my parents often left the house and car keys with me if they had to leave for the night or over the weekend. I couldn’t even drive yet, but it was up to me to see that my big sister didn’t destroy anything. (In retrospect, she really wasn’t that bad; I was just a boring straight edge that my parents trusted more at the time.)
Lastly, at the age of 16, when I found myself trying to mentor a 13-year-old-girl into not having sex just to be liked more by boys, I knew my childhood was over. It was time for me to be an example to other young black women and show them that they didn’t have to be a teen pregnancy statistic if they didn’t want to be.
Sorry, that got a little deep.
Please visit the other participants in this hop and even join in if you’d like. I’m curious to see if others had really deep or easy-going growing up moments.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords
Content is key, but what if you don’t have a handle on how to gauge content? This big issue I’ve been faced with as of late is how people interpret my promotional policy. My policy was static for about two years, but now it seems I have to update it every other month. On one hand, I’m not one to shy away from expressing my opinions, but I also don’t set out to offend people. On the other hand, I refuse to be made to feel guilty for not wanting to promote something that I’m just not interested in reading and or promoting.
As for what I read, I choose to read fiction that’s within my comfort zone, most of the time. How can I be expected to find an escape if I’m uncomfortable and frustrated with the content? And to be perfectly honest, I’m more open-minded about what I read, than many of the people I associate with. I have come across so many blogs and groups who refuse to review spiritual fiction, especially not anything religious or tied to a religious affiliation, and I have no problem with that. I don’t think these bloggers should be made to feel bad simply because they
choose not read something that makes them uncomfortable. However, when the tables are turned against any topic related to sex and or violence, people get mad and offended.
So here’s the big issue: what is erotica?
Heck if I know. I don’t read it, but I’ve read a few things I feel might be pretty close it and that’s one comfort zone I’d like to stay within. As an adult, I have no problem with anyone who reads or writes erotic stories. I even think some stories could use a little spicing up, but that doesn’t mean I want to be immersed in erotic language and images nor do I want to promote it. So all that’s left now is for me to decide how much is too much.
This would all be so much easier if there were some kind of industry standard, but there isn’t. Many will argue that some works are clearly Erotica, but what about all those that are “borderline.” I was recently faced with the challenge of trying to clarify my promotional policy by having someone compare the works, Fifty Shades of Grey and A Discovery of Witches. Taking into consideration that not everyone reads the same genres no matter how popular a book may be this comparison didn’t work; the author hadn’t read either of the books and hadn’t even heard of the latter. For me personally, I can scan the reviews of a book to get a feel for the content within, but we were in a bit of a crunch at that moment.
So now I’m felt looking back at my reading history and wondering where each book falls into my promotional policy. Have I read books that I actually wouldn’t promote?…Yes, and to be honest, I’ve never promoted those books. Some of them I didn’t finish and the few I did, I don’t think I’ve ever reviewed… Maybe I should.
Now it becomes a matter of what I think Erotica is.
I’ve never read Fifty Shades of Grey, but I’m pretty confident it’s too extreme for me, along with other such titles as: Insufferable Proximity and His Possession (books recommended if you like 50 Shades). I guess if the major selling point of the book is sex, that’s a pretty clear indicator. What about all those books that actually have a well-developed story along with a lot of detailed sex?
Take the book Outlander for instance. To me this book is borderline Erotica, but I have a feeling the Showtime series is pushing the limits of that (I’ve never watched it). I read this book because it was recommended to fans of time-travel and historical fiction; both accurate descriptions. However, this book contains a lot of sex and some of it is what you might consider “kinky”. This book was very uncomfortable to finish, but the beginning was so good and the actual story and characters so compelling, that I plowed forward and tried to skip over the parts I didn’t like. It was truly an incredible story, but it’s not a series I will ever continue simply because of the intense and graphic content I choose not to read.
Now consider the All Souls Series, specifically A Discovery of Witches. There is no way I would let anyone under 18 read this, but I’m not a parent and it’s really not that bad. It’s quite simply very mature and meant for adult consumption. This is an 18+ read, but I don’t consider it borderline and definitely not Erotica… I am way off and suffering from a delusion? I don’t know, but this is how I see this. I don’t exactly write children’s books myself (yet 😉 ), but I must draw the line somewhere.
I often try to compare book content to movie content, but even that’s not so easy to do. I often ask people that if a book was a movie would it be rated R or NC-17, but that’s not always a good indicator. Many R-rated movies are released only after a 2 or 3 minute clip is either edited or cut to bring it down from the NC-17 rating, and many PG-13 movies seem like they could be rated higher. There’s simply no way to determine where exactly to draw the line. In writing it goes even further. As much time as I may spend trying to define “What is Erotica?” others are arguing over what’s the difference and limitations between Erotica and Pornographic Lit. I can’t even imagine where it goes from there.
So in conclusion, I guess I’ll continue to update and tweak my promotional policy and continue to please some while I offend others.
This is an unoffical Author Insights post.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords
Heads would Roll… Hearts would Break… In the end, would it matter who Reigned?
Then there was Locks: Rapunzel Unhinged
Even though most girls wouldn’t fall for their captors, Rapunzel isn’t like most dames… Yet in spite of his appeal, Rapunzel must escape before she’s locked away in the Château de Immortelle’s highest tower—forever.
Now there’s Snow White Lies
Evil poisons everyone. Period. Our mouths water when we sink our teeth into what we have always craved. Surrendering to our desires by biting off delectable piece of the forbidden fruit is nothing more than a meager confession: Poison tastes sinfully sweet,”—Confessions of the Big Apple Debutante, by blogger Miss Snow White.
The Huntsman gently lifted her into his arms and kissed her softly on the lips. The residue of the apple was still fresh on her lips. When he pulled away, she gasped like she was drowning. He may never recall their memories, but he knew of her, what he’d read, what Lietz had told him about her. He’d cared enough about her that he’d given up pieces of himself to save her. That the Seven and the Queen wanted her dead deemed her significant enough to save.
He whispered her name. Her eyes fluttered open. They were as icy blue as the flickering images in his memories. When she saw him, she smiled in a way that didn’t reach her eyes. She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. Staring at his mouth, she traced her thumb over his bottom lip. The longing for his kiss was obvious in her stare. Her aspiration was eloquently familiar. She had cared for him once—all of him. Covered in evil filth, she looked upon him and found him worthy of her love.
Then all the adoration and desire vanished with a blink of an eye. Disdain replaced craving in her gaze. Yet, she still looked upon him with a sick sense of hunger.
“I hadn’t expected your weapon of choice to be poison,” she said and licked her blood-stained lips.
Now let’s get to know Snow White and the Huntsman a little better by snooping through their playlists.
9. B**** Better Have My Money by Rihanna- Explicit
10. One Last Time by Ariana
Grande
1. I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) by the Proclaimers
2. Watermelon Man by Les McCann
3. Shop Around by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
4. Buddy Holly by Weezer
5. The Rising by Bruce Springsteen
6. I Love Rock ‘N Roll by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts- You Tube
7. Clocks by Coldplay
8. I’m Eighteen by Alice Cooper
9. Young Americans by David Bowie
10. Super Freak by Rick James
Click here to listen on Spotify and also visit links in the list that apply.
Click here to listen on Spotify and also visit links in the list that apply.
Well if you like this, don’t be shy; join the tourparty for a chance to win a Kindle Fire 7 HD! Plus, try for a chance to win copies of all the books in the Twisted Fairytale Confessions series.
This series contains mature content; suitable for readers 18 and up.
Sarah J. Pepper
I specialize in dark, paranormal romance – think “happy ever after” but with a twisted, dark chocolate center. Real-life romance isn’t only filled with hugs, kisses, unicorns, and rainbows. True-love can be more thoroughly described in times of darkness and tribulation. It’s in those harsh moments where you see what a person is truly capable of – both the good and bad. Sometimes prince-charming isn’t always on time, and the glass slipper is a little snug. However, it doesn’t mean Charming is not Mr. Right, and who says every shoe is the perfect fit?
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