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#IWSG May 2014: Can’t Have It All

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Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.

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Most people assume that if you are an introvert that nothing is a big deal to you. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Just because someone doesn’t shout from the mountain tops or constantly tweet about their passions doesn’t mean they don’t have them.

I’ve been blogging and writing long enough for most people who’ve ever heard of me, let alone have met me, to know that writing is one of my passions, but there are still some who seemed to be completely blindsided by this. I guess it’s another case of me being overlooked by those around me; unfortunately I’m used to that now. However, that’s not what’s currently bothering me.

Right now I’m kind of sad, but mostly annoyed, that I can’t do all the things I have a great desire to do for a number of different reasons.

1. My life isn’t bad and though I’m getting back on track after a recent loss, I really can’t complain too much. There is one problem with that; I’m never happy unless I’m writing, but I can’t afford to write like I’d prefer (that’s another issue I’ll address in a moment). In essence, I suffer and constantly struggle with depression even though no one I know, including my family, seems to want to believe or accept that. The problem with depression is that you don’t typically need a good reason to feel it. It comes over you for no reason. When trying to find the courage and energy to get up and take a shower makes you cry, it’s not something that should be ignored. Alas, I have up to this point been able to pray and write my way down the straight and narrow, but it’s hard. I wish I could not have to battle depression.

2. Back to me not being able to write like I want to. I don’t have kids so that’s not an excuse I’m going to throw out, but I honestly don’t know how people with children get anything done. At this point in my “career” (cause apparently there’s debate as to where you have a hobby or career based on how much money you make) I am working a full-time day job and then coming home and writing and blogging full-time too (that means I’m putting in about 35-40 hours of each task a week). If I told that my home is sometimes in complete disarray, would you be surprised? I actually enjoy cooking and baking, but I can’t do those things and have time to write and go to work, the way I’d like. I wish I could not have to work a full-time day job (Don’t all writers wish this?).

3. This next matter is a result of the first too. I’m tired all the time. Healthy diet and exercise are a dream most of the time, but when I’m in the zone I do really well. Despite all my best efforts, no matter what I do, I am always tired. I’m not talking about being a little sluggish and grumpy (though don’t throw those out), I’m talking about being exhausted to the point where my body starts to breakdown, I pass out, and I get painful headaches. I wish I could not be so tired all the time.

4. On a completely different note, I’m currently feeling singled out in my efforts to do good. I think I’ll be putting together something soon to promote a charity that has really become near and dear to my heart, but for now I’m still trying to figure out how to go about it. I had an idea that was shot down by many of my writer friends, but none of them were cruel about it. I understood their reasoning and respect their decisions, but I guess I was a little disappointed that more weren’t interested. I guess in the end I have to accept that my passion isn’t everyone else’s. The truth is I think my desire to make a difference just wasn’t strong enough to outweigh my insecurities. I guess I thought I needed to have the support of others to be able to pursue this venture because I’m painfully aware of just how little influence I have…In any case, I will do something, whether it is a success or not, and I’ll be glad and proud that I did. I wish I could not be so afraid and insecure about putting myself out there to make a difference.

In conclusion, I realize that I just can’t have it all- no matter how badly I may want it.

After hanging out with Alex, be sure to stop by and visit this month’s co-hosts:  Mark Koopmans, Joylene Nowell Butler, Elsie, and Lisa Buie-Collard!

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Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #186).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords

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IWSG

#IWSG March 2014: Negative Reviews

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Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.

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Before I start my spiel I just want to say that: I never have enough time, there is so much going on in my life that I feel like I’m constantly running even in my sleep, I missed one of my regular posts yesterday because I was on the road and forget to schedule it because of family drama…

But I keep on trying every day, anyway. 🙂

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So I’ve received my first two negative reviews for my debut novel, Eternal Curse: Giovanni’s Angel,  and I’m still here. I haven’t thrown my body into frozen shark infested waters, but I’m not going to pretend that the thought didn’t cross my mind. As far as I know, these two reviews haven’t been posted to the public yet, but I’m sure they’ll surface any day now.

I find that I’m not too bothered by the idea of these reviews going public for three basic reasons and one hope.

1. I value the opinions of readers. I mean, I do write to entertainment them, so why wouldn’t I try to take into consideration how they feel about my work. If authors pout, cry, and throw a fit every time someone doesn’t like their work, readers may just stop bothering to read.

2. I’m grateful to anyone who’s willing to give my book a try. In my personal experience, most people don’t “waste their time” reading the work of some unknown writer. Just how some people don’t watch indie films or listen to indie music, some people aren’t interested in reading anything indie, “new”, or “small”.

3. I understand that everything isn’t for everyone. I’d be a fool to think that my book would be the first to be loved by all unconditionally and universally. On top of that, I like the idea of being able to learn from such reviews to see if there are things I want to change or improve about my writing. In essence, some people will enjoy my work and some will not because that’s how the world turns, and I’m okay with that.

4. It’s my hope that when these reviews go public that the reviewers are honest without being hateful. I know for a fact how one of these reviewers feels about my book and can’t and won’t argue how she feels. She was very honest and clear about what she did and didn’t like. I may not be happy about it, but I can’t be mad at her for being honest…Now, I have no idea what this other reviewer is going to say. This may be a bash fest in the making or maybe this other reviewer will also be honest and clear, without invoking hate, to explain why he/she didn’t care for my book.

While I’m glad to currently have more positive reviews than negative ones, I’m ready to face the reality that others may not like my book…And I’ll be sure to travel with a buddy when around sharp objects and the ocean.

BTW-Eternal Curse is participating in the Cover Wars over at The Masquerade Crew. Visit my side panel to check it out and possibly give me a vote. 😉

After hanging out with Alex, be sure to stop by and visit this month’s co-hosts:  Tina Downey, Elsie, Elizabeth Seckman, and Julie Flanders!

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Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #220).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords

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IWSG

#IWSG February 2014: Blog Hop

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Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.

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I’m trying something new, well, new to me anyway. I’ve participated in so many blog hops, but have never done one of my own. I think deep down I’m just avoiding the fact that I need to do more to promote my book and I just don’t feel like it. Sometimes it’s hard trying to sell something I love so much that I almost want to give it away just so I know people have it…

But enough about that, back to my endeavor to host a blog hop. I’m very nervous about this and hope I’m able to get a few participants (oh, there go my insecurities). After receiving some interesting insights about the romantic tension in my book (the one I haven’t been promoting enough), I started thinking about the nature of wooing. How does someone get someone else to fall for them or vice versa? Aside from flexing muscles and batting eyelashes, there have to be actual acts and jesters that just really turn people on. Some are probably universal, but some must be more specific; I want to know them all.

So, I give you, How do you Woo? Blogfest! (It’s a title people. Stop overthinking the grammar.)

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Love is in the air and it’s time to share, Wednesday, February 12th.

Tell a story, give examples, share an experience…how do you romance the one you care about or vice versa? In 500 words or less, teach us, entice us, and get us thinking all while keeping it, at least, PG-13. 😉

All are welcomed to participate. Please feel free to promote any contests, giveaways, or works you wish, but please post content ratings if your selections are a little more than simply adult. Feel free to use the image I’ve included here or come up with one of your own, but please use the Linky posted below to participate and use the hashtag, #howdoyouwoo, in promotions.

Aside from what I’ll be sharing in my post, I’ll also be offering a giveaway: a box of Ferrero Rocher®. There will be no liking, following, tweeting, etc… involved; all you have to do is leave me a comment about wooing. The winner will be drawn at random and announced on Friday, February 14th (HappyValentine’s Day).

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Please click here to join in and be a part of this romantic blog hop.

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All in all, I guess you could say that I’ve completely ignored my insecurities this month and have replaced them with practical deeds. Who knows, I may find a way between now and then to involve this hop in my weak book promoting efforts. Next month, hopefully I’ll be more on the ball and actually have something worthwhile to share; perhaps words of encouragement, a tale of progress, or even something more heartfelt…We’ll just have to see.

Be sure to stop by, visit, and thank our host as well as this month’s co-hosts: Sheena-kay Graham, Julie Musil, Jamie Ayres, and Mike Swift!

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Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share inspiration and support (this month, I’m #234).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords