Tag: #blacklivesmatter

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#blacklivesmatter Fun Hops IWSG

Grave Mistake #WEPFF Challenge featuring Home Wasn’t Safe For Us #amwriting #flashfiction

Grave Mistake Runner-up badge
Updated 11/10/20- I’m honored by this award and encourage you to click this image to see the other winners.

 

Today is my birthday and while I’m blessed to be alive and appreciate my loving family, I don’t really feel like celebrating today. Still, I did already have a small celebratory gathering with just immediate family over the weekend. As with my last two posts, I struggled to contribute this month but decided that since the invitation was there, I’d share what’s been on my mind. If you’re not interested in reading any more of my “expressions of social mourning” as it relates to Black Lives Matter, I’ve listed the blog hop link first so you can easily enjoy the other entries. If you’re set on reading what I have to share, I thank you for your time. Please scroll past the list to find my October contribution.

Home Wasn’t Safe For Us

We were home- the place we thought was safe.

You get up every day and face the dangers of the world: rage drivers, hostile bystanders who don’t like people who look like you walking through their neighborhood, jealous neighbors trying to hold you down because you have a plan to rise up and do better for yourself, and old family and friends who keep bringing their problems and their drama to your door.

But once you are inside and you’ve closed the door, you take a deep breath and rest because you think you’re safe. You never find out just how wrong you are until it’s too late.

She was everything. A light in the dark and a ray of hope to all who knew her. Everyone was rooting for her. We all knew she was going to make something of herself. She already was. She didn’t choose an easy path, but she chose one that would truly make a difference in other people’s lives.

After a long day, 12-hour shifts are no easy feat, she deserved to come home and have a good night’s sleep. But it just wasn’t meant to be.

Sourced from Wikipedia- Breonna Taylor at a graduation ceremony in Louisville, Kentucky

We were startled- jerked from our rest. Everything was so loud, so aggressive- all happening so fast. We didn’t know what was going on. Was it someone from the past looking to shake up our lives? Was it someone who was mad that for the first time we could easily pay our bills? Was it someone high and wacked out just looking to hurt someone for no reason?

I know now it was my fault. I was stupid. I made the grave mistake that took her life. I was foolish enough to believe that 2nd Amendment right applied to a black man living in the hood. I was wrong, trying to protect her- wasn’t even thinking about myself, and yet she’s the one who’s gone.

Five times they shot her and walked away. No one looked at her, checked her pulse, or even counted the bullet holes. She lay there, gurgled blood, and slept with her eyes open- frozen in fear and shock. After a long day’s work trying to make an American dream come true that was never meant for her, she finally got to sleep.

I never should have tried to protect us. If only I’d let the door burst open and taken a few of the shots too, perhaps she and I would be together. Sleeping together forever after a long day’s work- dreaming about that American fantasy we would never have.

All I can do now is say her name. Every day, I say her name to remind me of my mistake- my foolishness.

Breonna. Breonna. Breonna.

A “fictionalized first-person” account of what happened just after midnight on March 13, 2020 in Louisville, Kentucky. Mr. Walker, Breonna Taylor’s boyfriend, who tried to protect their home was charged with attempted murder of a police officer, but the charges were later dropped.

NCCO- 496 words- Home Wasn’t Safe For Us 2020 Copyright © Toinette J. Thomas

Read this article by The New York Times.com to learn more.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter

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IWSG

#IWSG October 2020: A Working Writer Sometime Needs Leave Without Pay

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Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.

Optional Monthly Question: When you think of the term working writer, what does that look like to you? What do you think it is supposed to look like? Do you see yourself as a working writer or aspiring or hobbyist, and if latter two, what does that look like?

To me, a working writer is one of two things, depending on how you look at it. 1) Ideally, a working writer is someone who makes a living as a writer. Writing is the work that pays their bills. 2) More commonly, I feel, a working writer is someone who works another job while also writing full-time whether it pays off or not. By full-time I mean, it’s just as much a part of their daily life as their paying job, and not a hobby they pick up when the mood is right, or vacation time is plentiful. (To clarify, there is nothing wrong with that. Writing should fit into your life in whatever manner suits you best.)

I think a working writer is supposed to look like someone who has a steady income stream consisting of: book sales, branded merch, guest articles and appearances, affiliate links and endorsements on their blog/vlog (or in this day and age, their podcast), and is at some level an influencer, even if it’s just within their local community.

I used to see myself as a working writer, but I recently had to take a leave of absence without pay (Just temporary. I’m back to work now.) I’ve struggled to read, struggled to write, and struggled to stay connected via my personal blog/platform and social media. I’ve struggled to see the point in sharing my words when I feel that so many of mine, and the words of other black people and people of color, seem to just go completely unheard by the powers that be.

So, the answer to this month’s question is also my insecurity. I’ve continued to cling to a few small supportive groups where I feel mine, and other struggling voices are not only heard but appreciated. Perhaps one day, down the road, I’ll be able to write an IWSG post where, as a working writer, I’ll be offering encouragement to someone else, whether a working, aspiring, or hobbyist writer.

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Thank you, again, for the WEP 1st-place award for the Long Shadow contest. If you’d like to see the guest article I posted at the WEP blog, click on the image.

Though I’m not reading as much as I like to (hardly at all) right now, I’m still excited about the release of Frozen Crimes, the 5th book in the Disaster Crime Series by our very own Chrys Fey.

BUY LINKS: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo / iTunes

I’ve read the whole series and followed Chrys for years. Whenever I regain my reading strength, this will be at the top of my TBR.

Now, on to the personal updates.

I’m still here.

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What does being a working writer mean to you?
It may take some time, but I promise, I will stop by your blog.

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After hanging out with Alex, be sure to stop by and visit this month’s co-hosts:
Jemima Pett,
Beth Camp,
Beverly Stowe McClure, and
Gwen Gardner!

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Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share more inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #37).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter

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#blacklivesmatter IWSG

#IWSG September 2020: Go ahead & skip me this month. Talk’n about #blacklivesmatter here.

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Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.

Optional Monthly Question: If you could choose one author, living or dead, to be your beta partner, who would it be and why?

I’m not in the right mindset to answer this question or post right now, but I’m here doing the best I can. Here’s a list of black authors I’ve been reading instead: Kwame Mbalia, Ibi Zoboi, Piper Huguley, and John Lewis.

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My insecurity– My voice and all the other black voices will continue to go unheard by the people who decide who gets to live or not. I work hard to improve my writing skills every day, but at the end of the day, my black voice still doesn’t matter.

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Thank you, WEP for the winning award for the long shadow contest. I truly appreciate all the encouragement and support.

Now, on to the personal updates.
Did you read the title of this post? This is your last chance to escape before reading or seeing something that might make you uncomfortable; and yes, I’m going to talk about being black in America.

I’m making a last-ditch effort to follow my dreams but since I’m a realist, I don’t expect much. I try to teach kids that sometimes they just can’t have what they want, and I’m no different. I’m never going to stop dreaming, but at some point, I’ll have to start facing reality. I guess I’ll start after this. (If you can upload pictures to Facebook and want to help me with a virtual book fair to raise money for We Need Diverse Books, check out this link.)


I have no expectations that the world will change anytime soon. My ancestors were dragged to this country against their will and forced to endure labor and treatment not even inflicted on animals. It’s been almost two hundred years since half this country died fighting so people with dark skin could be treated somewhat close to humanely, and to this day, the color of my skin is a threat punishable by death. Yeah, hope your year, decade, centennial, or whatever is going better than mine. As a human being, you deserve better than this.

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Sorry (kind of) to be a downer.
I really do sincerely hope things are going better in your life than the overall situation in this country.
It may take some time, but I promise, I will stop by your blog.

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After hanging out with Alex, be sure to stop by and visit this month’s co-hosts:
PJ Colando,
J Lenni Dorner,
Deniz Bevan,
Kim Lajevardi,
Natalie Aguirre, and
Louise – Fundy Blue!

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Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share more inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #38).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter