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#blacklivesmatter About Toi Virtual Book Tours

CORVID-19 is coming! @RavenCon & @kickstarter #anthology

The first time I attended RavenCon I was blown away. It was such a good experience all around and I knew it would become part of my regular Con experience whether I vended or not. So, when I was given a chance to speak at my next RavenCon I thought I’d truly made it into this geeky tribe where I would be safe and accepted… until I wasn’t.

I won’t go into a lot of details, but at my second RavenCon, someone who worked for the establishment where the event was held made me and my niece feel less than accepted. This wasn’t RavenCon’s fault in any way, but when news of my experience reached them, they investigated to make sure this kind of thing didn’t happen again at their event, which I thought was great. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, it was their word against mine. At that point, everyone tried to convince me that I was being sensitive, but after a lifetime of being the only black person in a place and being ignored or being last to be acknowledged, they were right. I was being sensitive- sensitive to the familiar feeling of being overlooked and dismissed. Not having someone understand that hurt.

Despite the hurt I felt, when I saw RavenCon stand up to proclaim that Black Lives Matter, I decided to put the past behind me and move forward. 2020 and COVID-19 have been hard/difficult/down-right terrible on so many. When I saw that RavenCon wanted to raise money to help compensate vendors and refund tickets I wanted to help. I’ve been a convention ticket holder and vendor and I know first hand what it’s meant to not attend Cons this year.

I gave to an initial fundraiser they held a while back and submitted a story for their charitable anthology, knowing I would make no money from it if my story was chosen. I was surprised when my story was chosen and was happy to work with the editor, Michael Pederson, to perfect the story for print.

I’m very excited for people to have a chance to read my story in the CORVID-19 anthology, and even more excited to do my part to help raise money for RavenCon. The Kickstarter campaign launches in one week on Wednesday, December 16. I do hope you will check it out and #BackTheRaven.

*Sorry I didn’t share the cover of CORVID-19, I wasn’t given clearance for that 😉 Don’t worry, I’ll post again on launch day. Hope to see you then.*

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter

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#blacklivesmatter Fun Hops IWSG

It’s Been So Long #WEPFF Challenge featuring Unmasked #amwriting #flashfiction

Well, here I am posting late to a challenge that really isn’t a challenge. This month’s W.E.P. challenge is very laid back. Post if you want anytime you want. No prizes, just fun, and fellowship, and the joy of stories. To say it’s been a rough year seems unnecessary and yet it’s the reason my entries have been very different. Still, I’m happy for the chance to share. I look forward to seeing everyone for a fresh start in 2021.

 

It’s Been So Long

Photo by 4TH FINGERSTUDIOS from Pexels.com

It’s been so long, so long since I’ve worn this mask.
It’s been so long since I’ve heard my own truth- it was simply too taboo.
I’ve worn this mask to survive and to get by, but now…

They say it’s important for me to unmask.
They say it’s important to talk about the brutality and rape that shaped my lineage.
They say it’s important to talk about the miles of struggles and years of pain still seeking equality.

It’s been so long, so long since I’ve worn this mask.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen my own truth- it simply wasn’t safe.
I’ve worn this mask to survive and to get by, but now…

They say it’s safe for me to unmask.
They say it’s safe for me to speak languages that now feel foreign on my own tongue.
They say it’s safe for me to tell stories from the Mother country and remember gods I don’t even worship anymore.

It’s been so long, so long since I’ve worn this mask.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen my own truth- it simply wasn’t acceptable.
I’ve worn this mask to survive and to get by, but now…

They say it’s okay for me to unmask.
They say it’s okay to take off the wig of straight hair and let my thick locs breathe.
They say it’s okay for me to wear bright colors and short skirts despite how dark my skin is and curvy my hips are.

It’s been so long, so long since I’ve worn this mask.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen my own truth- it simply wasn’t desirable.
I’ve worn this mask to survive and to get by, but now…

They say it’s good for me to unmask.
They say it’s good for me to smile and inhale no matter how big my lips are or how much my nostrils flare.
They say it’s good for me to sing soulfully even if they can’t relate to what I’m saying.

It hasn’t been that long, that long since I didn’t have to change or hide everything about myself just to get by.
It hasn’t been that long- my mask feels safe and I’m afraid to be me.
Perhaps the mask is still serving its purpose.

380 words- NCCO- It’s Been So Long 2020 Copyright © Toinette J. Thomas

If you want to see other stories for the December prompt, be sure to click the image above to check out the comments of the W.E.P. December 1st post throughout the month.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter

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#blacklivesmatter About Toi IWSG Videos

#IWSG November 2020: Why I #Amwriting

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Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.

Optional Monthly Question: Albert Camus once said, “The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.” Flannery O’Conner said, “I write to discover what I know.” Authors across time and distance have had many reasons to write. Why do you write what you write?

I used to think the only reason I wrote anything was because of an internal compulsion- something within me that compelled me to write. I just always felt that, “I write because I am”. In the past, I’ve mostly stuck to writing fiction, only dabbling a nonfiction and poetry from time to time (and I never shared any of it).

A few years back, when still working in Special Education, I started writing and illustrating picture books to reach young people- to help them grasp complex concepts. Still, long or short fiction had remained my passion. Then 2020 happened and I couldn’t write what I wanted to anymore. My compulsion had changed. I started writing to help me cope with all the things in the world that were causing me to feel hurt. I wrote for myself to help me cope, but when I wrote and illustrated two children’s books to help me cope with COVID and the Black Lives Matter movement, I decided to share them with the world- not to make money (especially since I released them for free initially), but to put it out there in case someone else could relate and get something out of it.

On my blog, I traded my usual flash-fiction for poetry and narrative, exploratory, nonfiction as I addressed my growing concern for a large portion of the world that views my skin color as a threat, a commodity to be exploited, or a statistic to be ignored. Only in the last few days have I been able to return to my worlds of fantasy, science fiction, or romance and resume my many WIPs, though many have taken on some major transformations. My writing has changed because I’ve changed. I’m the same person and writer I’ve always been, but for the first time, I’m not censoring myself to suit any audience. I’m at the point where I write exactly what I want. People can love it, like it, be indifferent, or hate it. It is what it is.

So, in essence, “I [still] write because I am”, I’m just writing more honestly than I ever have before- even when I’m writing fiction.

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Now, on to the personal updates.

I turned 40 since last we met and posted a fun video in an effort to get back into the swing of things. I’d love for you to check it out.

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So, why do you write?
If you don’t write, have you considered it?
It may take some time, but I promise, I will stop by your blog.

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After hanging out with Alex, be sure to stop by and visit this month’s co-hosts:
Jemi Fraser,
Kim Lajevardi,
L.G Keltner,
Tyrean Martinson, and
Rachna Chhabria!

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Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share more inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #37).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter