Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.
Optional Monthly Question: If you could choose one author, living or dead, to be your beta partner, who would it be and why?
I’m not in the right mindset to answer this question or post right now, but I’m here doing the best I can. Here’s a list of black authors I’ve been reading instead: Kwame Mbalia, Ibi Zoboi, Piper Huguley, and John Lewis.
****
My insecurity– My voice and all the other black voices will continue to go unheard by the people who decide who gets to live or not. I work hard to improve my writing skills every day, but at the end of the day, my black voice still doesn’t matter.
~
Thank you, WEP for the winning award for the long shadow contest. I truly appreciate all the encouragement and support.
Now, on to the personal updates.
Did you read the title of this post? This is your last chance to escape before reading or seeing something that might make you uncomfortable; and yes, I’m going to talk about being black in America.
I’m making a last-ditch effort to follow my dreams but since I’m a realist, I don’t expect much. I try to teach kids that sometimes they just can’t have what they want, and I’m no different. I’m never going to stop dreaming, but at some point, I’ll have to start facing reality. I guess I’ll start after this. (If you can upload pictures to Facebook and want to help me with a virtual book fair to raise money for We Need Diverse Books, check out this link.)
I have no expectations that the world will change anytime soon. My ancestors were dragged to this country against their will and forced to endure labor and treatment not even inflicted on animals. It’s been almost two hundred years since half this country died fighting so people with dark skin could be treated somewhat close to humanely, and to this day, the color of my skin is a threat punishable by death. Yeah, hope your year, decade, centennial, or whatever is going better than mine. As a human being, you deserve better than this.
****
Sorry (kind of) to be a downer.
I really do sincerely hope things are going better in your life than the overall situation in this country.
It may take some time, but I promise, I will stop by your blog.
Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share more inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #38).
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter
Thank you to WEP+IWSG for this recognition. I truly value the continued support and encouragement of this group. Click this image to see other winners.Pexels.com
A Growing Flame
I live in the shadow of monsters.
Monsters with nice suits, fancy cars, and smiling faces.
Monsters who don’t even pretend to lie to the races.
Monsters who forget, their blood too flows from certain places.
I live in the shadow of monsters.
A shadow with a long and wide and deep aim.
A shadow manipulating the past and an untold future to claim.
A shadow that forgets it has no power in the presence of a growing flame.
I live in the shadow of monsters.
Monsters who yell, and strut, and attack in fear.
Monsters who lie and cry when their shame is clear.
Monsters who forget, they are outnumbered as the revolution grows near.
I live in the shadow of monsters.
And I’m carrying a torch as I gather my brothers and sisters.
Please visit other entries in this hop and enjoy some funny, scary, touching, and thought-provoking stories. You’ll be so glad you did.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter
Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.
Optional Monthly Question: Quote: “Although I have written a short story collection, the form found me and not the other way around. Don’t write short stories, novels or poems. Just write your truth and your stories will mold into the shapes they need to be.”
Have you ever written a piece that became a form, or even a genre, you hadn’t planned on writing in? Or do you choose a form/genre in advance?
I’m skipping the IWSG question this month to focus on personal updates and a very exciting book release and blog hop. (Yes, I know this is a hop within a hop.) I’ve been a big fan of Chrys Fey for some time now, originally falling in love with her Disaster Crimes Series. I really enjoyed her first book of Sparks and have looked forward to this publication for quite a while. I feel it’s the kind of book that speaks to so many, no matter their creative outlet. So, let’s get to it.
****
Keep Writing with Fey Blog Hop: Share your story about writer’s block, depression, and/or burnout and how you overcame it or what you are currently doing to heal.
~
I began to show the first real signs of burn out back in 2015. At that time, I was blogging literally every day of the week and working to complete my third novel, after publishing a collection of short stories. I somehow managed to release my third novel in 2016 with a pretty decent online launch event and then… well- nothing. I began to slowly pull away from my self-imposed blogging regiment to focus on developing my skill as a writer. That’s when I had the realization that my writing had dramatically improved to the point where I no longer felt comfortable with my previous works being “out there” for the world to see and judge.
At that time, I simply stopped promoting my work and focused on skill-building and occasional blogging, continuing to reduce my number of daily, then weekly, and eventually monthly posts. There was a period of almost a year where I didn’t write and just barely “phoned in” my blogs. By 2018, I’d unpublished my first two novels and chose to focus on publishing children’s books and honing my skills, all the while hating myself for not being better and being more successful as a writer. I realized that I needed to do a complete rewrite of my original novel series, even if I never republished it, simply because the story means so much to me. Yet, as of today, I only have highly detailed outlines and sporadic completed chapters for three books in a series that may never see the light of day again.
Two years ago, I quit one day-job and started another, which was a tremendous help to me in getting through a very long bout of depression. At that point, I’d been in a job that I literally cried on the way to every day for 10 years. And after 5 years, writing stopped being the great escape it had once been. In the past, being able to write had helped me to cope with how much I feared and loathed going to my job, but it soon began to add to the pressure I felt. I didn’t feel safe at work and not being able to create at home left me feeling painfully inadequate. Freeing myself from that horrible day-job was only one part of my healing process. Prayer, family, and reading for pleasure took care of the rest. Even the IWSG and WEP helped play a part in getting me through the worst. Now, I have a job I enjoy and feel much safer in, but unfortunately, it requires a greater time commitment than my previous job and I now struggle to find the time to work on long-term writing projects.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to complete another novel, but at least I am able to write again- short fiction, poetry (if you can believe that), children’s books, and the occasional blog. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m way better off than I was. I still struggle to fight the depression that tells me I’m a failure for not writing or completing a novel, but I have resolved to do what I can do and find success in the little things.
If you’re dealing with depression or burn out, I encourage you to read this book and or reach out to a support system or community, where you feel safe, to help you get through it.
~
Catch the sparks you need to conquer writer’s block, depression, and burnout!
When Chrys Fey shared her story about depression and burnout, it struck a chord with other writers. That put into perspective for her how desperate writers are to hear they aren’t alone. Many creative types experience these challenges, battling to recover. Let Keep Writing with Fey: Sparks to Defeat Writer’s Block, Depression, and Burnout guide you through:
∙ Writer’s block
∙ Depression
∙ Writer’s burnout
∙ What a writer doesn’t need to succeed
∙ Finding creativity boosts
With these sparks, you can begin your journey of rediscovering your creativity and get back to what you love – writing.
Click the linky list to follow the Keep Writing with Fey blog hop or scroll down to continue with the IWSG monthly hop.
****
Now, on to the personal updates.
I feel like I said a lot in my blog hop contribution so I’ll skip the personal updates this month. If you’d like to see reviews for what I read in the month of July, please visit theLit Carnivale blog. The video below is my monthly wrap-up.
****
Think you might check out Chrys’s book?
I’d love for you to share your response to the IWSG monthly question if you’re up for it.
It may take some time, but I promise, will stop by your blog.
Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share more inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #38).
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We assume you agree with this.
If you do not agree, we ask that you read no further or consider deleting your cookies after your visit. Thank you. AcceptRejectRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: