A little while ago, Michael D’Agostino, of A Life Examined, brought up the idea of a new blog hop called Question of the Month. He thinks blog readers would like to know a little more about us, the bloggers. So we’re all gathering to show you guys who we are by taking part in the Question of the Month blog hop. On the first Monday of each month, we answer the question that gets posted here.
This month’s question is: “Which one social convention would you get rid of?”
It’s been awhile since I’ve given much thought to annoying social conventions. In some ways, the world has changed for the better in that regard. There was once a time I worried about what to wear to church, but so many churches (not all, but many) have truly embraced the “come as you are” mentality that no one is expected to show up in their “Sunday’s Best” unless they want to or it’s a special occasion that calls for it.
While I think it’s silly for me to “dress up” every day for a job that will literally require me to get down on the floor with children, I do actually like to dress up from time to time. I just don’t like being told I need to. How I dress doesn’t really affect my ability to do my job unless I happen to be wearing a skirt that’s too short to bend over in. If that’s the case, I probably shouldn’t be wearing that at all.
I wonder if hand shaking counts as a social convention. I don’t have a problem with it, but I’ve noticed that people don’t really do it much anymore with introductions unless the setting is formal. Maybe it’s a germ thing or maybe our culture is simply changing. Maybe a man’s handshake isn’t as important as it once was or perhaps it has become so important that people don’t want to squander that moment on casual insignificant intros.
Hugging is where I have a problem. I like to hug people I’m comfortable with, but just because I’m related to someone doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with them. I’m tired of social conventions that state you have to act like you love everyone you’re related to, even when you’ve only just met them. Blood or not, if I don’t know you, I don’t want to hug you.
And why am I expected to give a graduation gift to a cousin’s kid I’ve never met? …
There is one social convention that I’ll keep as long as it’s needed. Business gifts are always uncomfortable to some degree. You know, those gifts you give or get from the people you work with. Just accept the gift, smile, and decide what to do with it later. When you spend as much time with someone as you spend with your co-workers it just seems wrong to not offer some kind of gift for socially accepted holidays, even if it’s just a card. If we’re really honest with ourselves, whether we like it or not, some of us spend more time with our co-workers than we do our families. It would be a bit cold-hearted not to acknowledge them on a significant or mutual day of celebration.
It’s the last month of the BooktagsBlogHop trial period and I hope you’ll consider joining in. It’s a great way to sample a book and get an opinion on it without scouring its list of reviews. Please check it out. BooktagsBlogHop
Also, please visit the other participants in this hop and even join in if you’d like.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords
13 replies on “#Question of the Month: a #bloghop to think about. No. 7- Which one social convention would you get rid of?”
The one social convention I would change is when you get introduced to a new group or organization such as a church or job they ask you to stand up in front everybody and ask you to give a monologue about yourself, personal life, and interest. It is so awkward to be forced into a false sense of intimacy in front of a group people you do not know spouting off personal stats about if you are married, have kids, pets, what is your favorite thing to eat and do, etc.
Yes, that is awkward. It does seem like you’d want to give a new person some time to warm up to a group before putting them front and center.
I’m not a fan of shaking hands, but I would never refuse to do it. My husband’s family is big on hugging and I actually do like that. It made me feel instantly included when I first started getting together with them.
Yeah, shaking hands is something I can take or leave. I’m pretty indifferent about it, but to me, it does seem like less and less people are doing it. Just an observation.
You named a few that bother me. Now that I’m on a fixed income I don’t ever give gifts. My wife on the other hand goes overboard buying gifts. I think she’s seeing the light this year about buying gifts for co-workers, but maybe she’ll have second thoughts at the last moment. She can spend a fortune on gifts and I don’t know that they are always appreciated like they should be.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
One does have to be practicle about gift giving. I scale my gifts. I give most my co-workers bulk greeting cards with personal messages and candy canes from the $ store; it really is the thought that counts. I do set aside a small amount for the people I work closely with, but I’ll never lose a meal over it or go without. If ever I don’t have the means, I’ll hand make something just to show i care. It’s not about the amount and if they don’t appreciate it, it’s their loss.
You touched on some things I didn’t consider but the hugging thing bugs me too. And I like the new casual dress for church too. I’m sure God doesn’t care what we’re wearing, only what’s in our hearts.
Amen! 🙂
Good point – we do see our co-workers a lot.
My wife shares your sentiment about not being required to love everyone just because you’re related.
And I think the hand shaking thing has come down to germs.
I think it’s a germ thing too. Of course I do keep hand sanitizer in my bag in case I need it.
That thing these days where the kids point at each other’s shoes and yell “What are those?” – does that count as a social convention? I’d get rid of that.
Actually, now that you mention gifts, I was always annoyed at my family’s insistence that I take the price tag off. I care more about the thought-value of a gift than the price.
I like hugging, but am too awkward to hug the people I want to hug. But definitely, I don’t like having to pretend like I care/love all family members. I mean.. sheesh :/