Today is my birthday and while I’m blessed to be alive and appreciate my loving family, I don’t really feel like celebrating today. Still, I did already have a small celebratory gathering with just immediate family over the weekend. As with my last two posts, I struggled to contribute this month but decided that since the invitation was there, I’d share what’s been on my mind. If you’re not interested in reading any more of my “expressions of social mourning” as it relates to Black Lives Matter, I’ve listed the blog hop link first so you can easily enjoy the other entries. If you’re set on reading what I have to share, I thank you for your time. Please scroll past the list to find my October contribution.
Home Wasn’t Safe For Us
We were home- the place we thought was safe.
You get up every day and face the dangers of the world: rage drivers, hostile bystanders who don’t like people who look like you walking through their neighborhood, jealous neighbors trying to hold you down because you have a plan to rise up and do better for yourself, and old family and friends who keep bringing their problems and their drama to your door.
But once you are inside and you’ve closed the door, you take a deep breath and rest because you think you’re safe. You never find out just how wrong you are until it’s too late.
She was everything. A light in the dark and a ray of hope to all who knew her. Everyone was rooting for her. We all knew she was going to make something of herself. She already was. She didn’t choose an easy path, but she chose one that would truly make a difference in other people’s lives.
After a long day, 12-hour shifts are no easy feat, she deserved to come home and have a good night’s sleep. But it just wasn’t meant to be.
We were startled- jerked from our rest. Everything was so loud, so aggressive- all happening so fast. We didn’t know what was going on. Was it someone from the past looking to shake up our lives? Was it someone who was mad that for the first time we could easily pay our bills? Was it someone high and wacked out just looking to hurt someone for no reason?
I know now it was my fault. I was stupid. I made the grave mistake that took her life. I was foolish enough to believe that 2nd Amendment right applied to a black man living in the hood. I was wrong, trying to protect her- wasn’t even thinking about myself, and yet she’s the one who’s gone.
Five times they shot her and walked away. No one looked at her, checked her pulse, or even counted the bullet holes. She lay there, gurgled blood, and slept with her eyes open- frozen in fear and shock. After a long day’s work trying to make an American dream come true that was never meant for her, she finally got to sleep.
I never should have tried to protect us. If only I’d let the door burst open and taken a few of the shots too, perhaps she and I would be together. Sleeping together forever after a long day’s work- dreaming about that American fantasy we would never have.
All I can do now is say her name. Every day, I say her name to remind me of my mistake- my foolishness.
Breonna. Breonna. Breonna.
A “fictionalized first-person” account of what happened just after midnight on March 13, 2020 in Louisville, Kentucky. Mr. Walker, Breonna Taylor’s boyfriend, who tried to protect their home was charged with attempted murder of a police officer, but the charges were later dropped.
NCCO- 496 words- Home Wasn’t Safe For Us 2020 Copyright © Toinette J. Thomas
Read this article by The New York Times.com to learn more.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter
39 replies on “Grave Mistake #WEPFF Challenge featuring Home Wasn’t Safe For Us #amwriting #flashfiction”
Toi, you’ve done it again. A powerful story that wasn’t at all fictional. When will it end? This really got to me:
‘I was foolish enough to believe that 2nd Amendment right applied to a black man living in the hood. I was wrong…’ A bit like a girl taking the blame when she’s raped. Not her fault at all. Not Breonna’s boyfriend’s fault. OMG!
Thank you for sharing your pain with us for the ‘Grave Mistake’ prompt.
Thank you, Denise. I really struggled with whether to share this, but just writing it somehow helps me to process all that I’m feeling.
Lovely Toi. Prose poetry indeed on a grave subject. Take care.
Thank you, Susan.
Hi,
Toi, your story is sad. It speaks of a mistake that can’t be undone. Will the boyfriend ever get over the fact that his past was one of the reasons that the police just shot? Or that the no-knocking law could rid him of the one thing he cherished, which was the love for the woman who is now dead? I don’t know but what I think is that you’re working through your pain by writing, and I find your method good. I hope one day you will find peace again.
All the best.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat
Thank you, Pat. You are so right. Just writing about these things is somehow helping me, even if nothing is resolved, at least I’m processing and not wallowing.
Brilliant as always. Tragedies like this shouldn’t happen. And there should be justice for Breonna. That poor man – I can’t even begin to imagine his sorrows. Sending hugs your way
Thank you, Jemi. Hugs are much appreciated.
Was it Breona’s mistake that she chose someone who’s deeds became fatal for her?
Sanhita
https://projectionofnaught.blogspot.com/
No, that wasn’t quite the point I had in mind. Thanks for taking the time to read it though. As with anything creative that’s shared with the public, people are free to interpret what they want or need beyond the author’s intent.
Always, always write what your heart prompts! You never have to apologize for your words. Your pain is REAl and sharing that helps so many others who don’t have that outlet. Thank you! Our prayers for genuine change, yet unanswered, seem to rely on the upcoming election. The future is a very scary unknown. Please keep writing and sharing!
Victim blaming is never, ever justified. Breonna and her boyfriend were both victims!
As always, Yolanda, thank you for your words of encouragement and insight. Your point about victim-blaming goes unsaid far too often. Some people use this as justification, in an instance where a crime is committed, stating that black people (or other people of color) deserve the treatment or death they received because of their actions, but I don’t believe anyone has ever made that same argument to me about a white person (because white people don’t die when they steal a TV or walk down the street shooting people with a rifle). Still, this doesn’t even make sense in Breonna’s case, she and her boyfriend were completely innocent.
Hi Toni:
You did a good job highlighting this terrible event. The police in this case made multiple ‘grave mistakes.’ The first being that apartment. We need to reform so many areas of American society. No one, should have to live in fear. I hope Biden is successful at his bid for the Presidency and is able to make the police reforms that are needed. I agree, that with photo identity traffic violations could be resolved without the need of a cop pulling someone over and targeting them based on their appearance. I have taught my children and grandchildren, one of whom is biracial, that God wanted many colored vessels not just milk white. We need to celebrate our differences instead of fearing them.
May the Lord Jesus protect you and all those whom you love.
Nancy
Thank you, Nancy. I appreciate your openness and your prayer of protection.
I’ve been following Breonna Taylor’s case and I can’t believe the verdict, how can it be that no policeman got charged for killing her? You’ve brought Breonna’s boyfriend to life in a powerful and poignant way. It is impossible for any normal person to not be affected by their tragedy and not be outraged at the verdict.
I hope Breonna Taylor will be given justice, and also for all others who are discriminated against, marginalised, illegally detained and killed around the world in increasingly violent and unjust societies. Enabled by autocratic, unfair, unfit to lead political office bearers. We need to get rid of these leaders who only care for their own support base.
Thank you, Nila. Your words stand true- it’s a global problem. Too many political leaders “who only care for their own support base.” Nations around the world are diverse and it’s about time goverment leaders start thinking about all their citizens and not just the one’s they prefer.
You wrote another powerful and important piece. You impress us all time and again, and the message here is so important. Breonna should have been safe in her own home. Thank you for sharing this with us.
L.G. this was so hard for me to write. It’s one thing to go into the world knowing that people will hate me because of the color of my skin, but to know that I can’t even breathe in my own home is just too much. Thank you for reading it.
Hi Toil – if it was your birthday … I do hope you were able to find some peace and enjoy the day with family and/or friends.
Your story here – real enough … as Breonna certainly felt – it is just so appalling that we can act like that – one wonders if one of those people was confronted in the way Breonna was – what would they say … would they understand better – the cruelty of mob violence.
Take care and stay safe and all the very best – Hilar6y
Thanks, Hilary. My family made sure I had a nice celebration and we all talked and discussed the state of the world. All we can do now is pray and have faith.
Thank you for sharing this. It was beautiful and powerful. We need more writers able to bring this to everyone. Well done, and I hope you find a piece of something good from your birthday.
Hug
Jemima
Thank you, Jemimia, for your kind words and encouragment.
This was such a tragic incident. Unfortunately, it does not seem that the police officers who wrongfully killed Ms. Taylor are going to serve any time for their actions.
~Cie from Naughty Netherworld Press~
Yes, it is tragic. If a doctor makes a mistake and causes someone to die, they have consequences, but the police are allowed to “accidentally” or purposefully kill as many people (of color) as they want without even a slap on the wrist. I just don’t get it. If a police officer knew that, at the very least, their job could be on the line if they wrongfully killed someone, maybe they’d be less likely to go into so many scenarios with guns blazing, but when you have a license to kill, I guess that’s just what you do. I have no problem with the police doing their job- I have a problem with them not being held accountable for killing so many people.
Giving it one more try. WordPress is having a go at me. I’m not sure if my comments are going to a moderation queue or just being eaten.
This was such a tragic incident. Unfortunately, it does not seem that the police officers who wrongfully killed Ms. Taylor are going to serve any time for their actions.
~Cie from Naughty Netherworld Press~
What a heart-breaking story! Home should be a safe refuge from the world but sadly, this isn’t always the case.
Thank you, Carrie. Yes, it is heartbreaking.
A tragic and well-written tale. Fantastically done, Toi.
Thank you, Christopher.
The world has truly gone nuts these days. People should be safe in their homes. Thanks for bringing this tragic event to life with such passion. Happy late birthday.
Thank you, Donna, for the birthday wishes and for reading my story.
Beautiful and heartbreaking. Sending you hugs and love. Writing the pain is… painful. When I’m strong enough to do it, it helps. Other times, I write humor because that’s how I cope.
Thank you, Rebecca. No judgement here- write whatever gets you through tough times. Plus, sometime reading those humorus words are just what someone like me needs. Hugs.
Oh my goodness! I can’t believe things like this still happen in this day and age. Thank you for opening our eyes.
Thank you for reading it, Sally.
Another powerful piece and an unexpected POV. It was a situation that never should have happened, and for which no justice was served. None of us should be okay with that.
Thank you, Donna. I chose this POV because I felt it reflected the sense of loss I feel many in the media either refuse or forget to acknowledge. I hear empty words such as “our hearts are with the family of the deceased” and I wonder if people are considering how they would actually feel if the same thing had happened to them.
Hi Toi – congratulations on your runner-up award for the recent WEP … we all need to be a lot more empathetic to others – all the best to you – Hilary
Thank you, Hilary. I’m glad to know the story was well received.