#IWSG June 2015: Wanting to be wanted.


Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.


Before I bum everyone out with my insecurities, I’d just like to say that launching the sequel to my Eternal Curse Series at a local Comicon was the best decision I’ve made in a long time….

Now, lately I’ve been trying to look at myself objectively and reevaluate my role as author, blogger, and other. In my day-to-day life, I know exactly who and what I am. I’m a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, and a teacher. These are roles that come easy to me, though teaching is the one that seems to stretch me the most. Working with the children is easy; working with other adults and the politics of the educational system is where things get a bit tough. Even with the challenges of my day job, I know where my place is and what my purpose it.

Now when it comes to being an author and blogger, I still feel a bit lost after all these years. Don’t worry, this isn’t a farewell statement of any kind, but to say I have insecurities would be an understatement. For the first time since I started the blogging journey I’m starting to feel a sense on synchronicity between my role as author and blogger. I actually feel as if these two roles are mutually beneficial, whereas in the past one seemed to interfere with the other, and vise versa, at all times.

While that is all well and good, I don’t feel comfortable in my mission, content, and or niche. I honestly don’t know that I fit into a niche, which is probably the root of my problems. I feel like the ideas and desires I have for reaching out to readers goes against whatever it is that readers actually want…but I just can’t seem to change my mind. I want to be flexible and free to express myself through many genres, but I run the risk of losing interested parties who are only interested in a particular thing I’ve done.

I had a silly notion of creating a You Tube presence that would connect me with other writers, which would in turn connect us all to a whole new audience of potential readers and fans. The problem is that writes don’t do anything on camera. So I’m trying to refocus my efforts to just interviewing on my blog, but many authors don’t seem to be interested in that either. I feel like I should stop reaching out to authors all together, even though I don’t want to.

I’ve tried reaching out to readers, offering pieces of myself and trying to connect with them, but not many seem to be interested unless I’m giving something away, and even that doesn’t  bring in too much interest. I know that I write because I love it and I know that I blog because I love it, but unless I start addressing all my content to myself, I’m left wondering, who am I reaching out too?

I wish I could make a difference.

Need to find a niche.

Wanting to be wanted.

So, have you found where you belong?
Do you know who you’re reaching out to?


After hanging out with Alex, be sure to stop by and visit this month’s co-hosts:
M. Pax,
Tracy Jo,
Patricia Lynne,
Rachna Chhabria,
Feather Stone, and
Randi Lee!


Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share more inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #108).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords

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Toi Thomas

I like reading, writing, cooking, dancing, movies, and music. I'm a big kid and choose to see the world in my own special way. Yes, I'm educated, but I haven't let that stop me from being who I want to be. I'm a wife, teacher, author, blogger, and more.

22 thoughts on “#IWSG June 2015: Wanting to be wanted.”

    1. I agree that sometimes what you get back is a resounding yawn of disinterest…but don’t give up! You reached me. 🙂

  1. I wish I knew who I was. I mean, I know who I am, but other times I just wonder if I am more than a sister, daughter, friend, girlfriend. I struggle finding time and motivation to write, but I know I want to do it. 🙂 I haven’t figured out where I fully belong yet, but I do know I’m a writer and writers are cool people.

    1. I agree, writers are cool people. We’re a mess, but still pretty cool. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Readers connect in different ways. I find out via other sources that people read my blog who never comment. So you never know. Write because you love it. I read a quote once by another author (with the big 5 or 4 or however many these days), building audience is like building a beach one grain of sand at a time. Yup. At any rate, you’re not alone. http://mpaxauthor.com

  3. I really understand and am still trying to find my niche. I tend to go in too many directions. I think it’s a journey and we just have to keep trying different things until it feels right. Don’t give up and keep at it…I’m sure you will find your calling!

    1. Yeah it’s all a journey and somedays the map looks blury, but we keep moving forward. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. You’ll find your niche soon. I’ve found that readers don’t comment on blogs as much as writers, but they still visit and read. You still make a connection.

  5. Great idea going for the comic con since that’s probably your target market. I say skip trying to find your niche and start finding what makes you different. That’s where the real market is. Of course I’m not a writer or a marketing guru, but that’s my two cents. 🙂

  6. I finally found my niche, but it took a lot of time. For me, writing for readers is key, so I started to blog about topics that would interest people who’d like my books–unsolved mysteries, the supernatural, creepy places in the world, etc.

    Before that, I blogged about how to live an extraordinary life. My following was mostly my friends, which was great, but it wasn’t supporting my writing in any real way.

    Good luck! You’ll figure it out. Don’t be afraid to experiment.

    1. Thanks for the encouragement. I keep trying new things, some have payed off, but I’m still searching. I won’t give up.

    1. Sounds like we’re using the same blogging method. I guess I’m not alone in this. 😀 Thanks for stopping by.

  7. I mostly reach other authors and have made some truly amazing, genuine connections in the process. I use my blog as free therapy whenever I’m stuck on a WIP or particularly worried about something related to branding or some other writing issues. I think you have to just be yourself. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through, either. I know you’ll figure it out. Good luck to you.

    1. Thanks for the encouragement. I’ll figure it out one day. Thanks for stopping by.

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