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#IWSG February 2021: Friendship through Blogging

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Created and hosted by the Ninja himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writers Support Group posts the 1st Wednesday of every month. Click the image to learn more or sign up.

Optional Monthly Question: Blogging is often more than just sharing stories. It’s often the start of special friendships and relationships. Have you made any friends through the blogosphere?

I’ve made a lot of connections online in the past ten years, but to say I’ve made friends is a little different. I’d first like to point out that just because someone is your friend on Facebook doesn’t mean they are your friend in the real world. With that said, the blogosphere, for me anyway, is way better at building solid, meaningful connections that in time can become true friendships.

I’d love to someday meet some of my blogging friends face-to-face. Before COVID-19, it was a real possibility. I mean, I got to meet one of my favorite publishers at a writer’s conference, who’s to say I couldn’t have also met up with a blogging buddy? Still, I recognize the difference in relationships that thrive in cyberspace and the ones that could potentially thrive in reality.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having only “online friends,” as long as they are genuine. I consider all the solid connections I’ve made within the IWSG and WEP to be real friends, especially since they’ll be honest about my writing and let me know where I need improvements. Do these friendships translate into the real world? I have no idea. Maybe. Even if they don’t, they’re stronger than most of my Facebook friendships.

Still, there are those that stand out. There are those I’d love to have a cup of coffee or tea with once a month as I do with my old high school friend. I’m so blessed to have made these friendships through the blogosphere. I won’t name names for fear of leaving someone out, but I think they know who they are. They are the ones I email from time to time and follow on social media platforms. They have truly made my life better, and that’s what a good friendship should do.

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IWSG BOOK CLUB ON GOODREADS

I have finished one of the book club books for December/January/February. Preparing to Write Settings that Feel Like Characters by J Lenni Dorner was a short read and I really liked it. Ghost Light by Joseph O’Connor is another story. Aside from my Goodreads overall reading challenge, I also joined an audiobook challenge and I thought I’d listen to Ghost Light instead of reading it. I think I made a mistake. I’m really struggling with it. Still, I hope I’ll make it through by discussion day.


Ghost Light by Joseph O’Connor, a book written in second-person. Since many readers haven’t read a book in second-person, and many writers haven’t written in second-person, we figured this is a great chance to explore something new.


Preparing to Write Settings that Feel Like Characters by J Lenni Dorner. This will be our writing craft book, with a focus on settings.

Discussion Day for both books will be February 24, 2021! Don’t feel pressured to read both. Pick the one that suits you best and go for that. Or don’t read either but still participate in the discussion day poll. They’re pretty good.

JOIN US!

 

Now, on to the personal updates.

I continue my quest to settle into my new home. It’s been a slow process, but it is coming along. I’m hoping everything will be done by the Spring. For now, I’m just trying to survive the winter. It’s so cold, and much as this may hurt some people’s feelings, snow is way overrated.

One month down in 2021 and COVID is still taunting us all.

I’ve been posting videos on Facebook and YouTube chronicling my struggles with technology, but think I finally found something that might work long term for me. You can check it out in my January wrap-up video below.

Lastly, my Patreon experiment is going well, at least in my eyes it is. I have three supporters and am actively writing new material again. It’s not a lot, but every little bit counts. I designed an exclusive postcard to send out to them, hopefully, today or tomorrow… Oh, and check out my most recent book reviews at Lit Carnivale.

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Have you made any lasting friendships through the blogosphere?
Read any good books lately?
Met any writing goals?
It may take some time, but I promise, I will eventually stop by your blog.

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After hanging out with Alex, be sure to stop by and visit this month’s co-hosts:
Louise – Fundy Blue ,
Jennifer Lane ,
Mary Aalgaard ,
Patsy Collins at Womagwriter, and
Nancy Gideon!

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Click here to visit other IWSG blogs and sites to receive and share more inspiration and support. (This month, I’m #37).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords #blacklivesmatter

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By Toi Thomas

Author and illustrator of children's books, as well as clean adult fiction and nonfiction. Toi is a geek-girl blogger, vlogger, reviewer, and advocate for a healthy reading lifestyle. She finds comfort in faith, family, and creative expression. Toi believes in the dream of world harmony and hopes all your dreams come true.

38 replies on “#IWSG February 2021: Friendship through Blogging”

My favorite season is Fall/Autum but I didn’t get it last year. In 2020, the weather jolted from intense summer heat into freezing cold within 2 weeks. I hope I at least get a good spring in 2021.

Settling into a house always takes time.

I’m with you on the cold. I wish it was snow but we’ve mostly had bitter cold rain.

I live in a very snowy area and I agree – it’s overrated! We’ve had fewer snowfalls than ever before this year – it’s been a great, mild winter. But it makes me worry about climate change even more!
Glad you’re enjoying your new home – it takes so long to settle! Have fun with it 🙂

Yes, I too have concerns about climate change . I use to worry about my grandmother in Texas overheating in the summer, but now she has to deal with snow storms. When I was growing up there, it never snowed. Now it snows there every year.
I am loving the house, and whenever we do get completely settled in, I hope we can enjoy it with family.

Blogging friendships do feel different than, say, friendships on Facebook. Through blogging, the connections are more personal and mean something more, at least they do to me. 🙂

Yes, I think the difference in blogging and engaging on social media, is the “insta” factor. Social media is design to be quick where as blogging takes a little more time and effort.

I think you said what I was trying to say, and said it better. I’m glad to be able to read your work and hope I can offer a little bit of help and support!
Online friendships can translate to the real world. I have been part of an online backpacking community since 2004, and have met, hiked with, and visited a large handful of those people, some of whom have become “real life” friends.

I’ve had some great live meet-ups with some of my online friends, and it’s interesting that they’re exactly how I thought they’d be. I guess if people are genuine in their blogging, they’re the same in real time.

You pose a great question, Toi. I can only hope friendships online translate to face to face friendships as well. And I agree with your opinion on the weather. Snow is overrated 🙂

It sounds like you have had a great creative month, so that always feels productive. Good luck with your house and happy IWSG day.

I agree with your observations about distinctions between connections and friendships. While I’ve made some connections with people on-line who’ve become friends, none of them have been through FaceBook. To be honest, I’ve never found social media very satisfactory for much of anything, other than “everybody” is doing it.

As for snow? I love it! I could live happily in the Scottish Highlands with their wind, rain and snow. And it doesn’t hurt my feelings if someone else doesn’t. That’s why we have beaches and prairies the rainy coastlines. Something for taste. 🙂

Wow, when I think about the Scottish Highlands or places like Wysconsin USA, I get the shivers. I can handle beautiful snow, and any other type of cold weather, for about a week, 2 at most, and then I’m ready to move on. I think it’s good that you and others like it. I would feel really bad if someone didn’t appreciate the cold more than I do.

I agree, having something in common helps, but sometimes social media is supposed to have that too. It could just be me, but if I really had to choose, if I HAD to give one up, social media would be out the door and I’d be happy with all my blogging friends and connections.

A very thoughtful post, Toi! I find my blogosphere friendships very satisfying and meaningful ~ other online platforms not as much. They’re more like connections, unless they’re my family members or in-person friends. I love snow, but my husband hates its, so I can appreciate the “overrated” perspective. Enjoy your IWSG Day!

I wouldn’t say my husband loves it, but it doesn’t bother him as much as it bothers me. I think if he hadn’t had his tubing accident a few years back, he’d probably still love it.

I agree with you: friendships take time to build. And blogging allows us that time. It takes years, but it lets you find the like-minded people, not just those who are convenient because they live on the next street.
As for snow: I will gloat. I live in Vancouver, Canada. So far this winter, no snow, although it is raining a lot. Snow is beautiful, sure, but so cold! I don’t like cold. I much prefer Vancouver’s mild rainy winters.

Hi, Toi! I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some internet friends in person, and it was a thrill. But most of us settle for the virtual versions of each other, i guess.

Great video. You’re so cute! Love your dimples. 😀

I agree with the idea that I don’t know yet how well friendships from the blogsphere translate over to the real world meeting of people, but I hope they do. I feel like blogging, social media, and emails combined are a good combination for creating new friendships.
Congrats on all that you are doing. I started a patreon, but haven’t kept up with it and had no followers last time I checked. I probably should check…
Happy new writing!

Patreon isn’t something I expect to take off, but it would be nice. It’s just another way for me to stay motivated. I’m excited to produce for people who are willing to support me financially, even if it is a small amount.

I’d have to agree that blogging is a way better to make online friends than Facebook. Some of my Facebook friends were people I have NEVER connected with, on or offline, but I felt guilty unfriending them. I didn’t want them to think that because I was un-friending them that I would never want to connect with them. But through #IWSG, I can comment and connect with other bloggers, and if I connect with them over a long period of time, then I feel comfortable calling them my friends regardless of the “friend count” by my blog.

Yes. It’s funny, I often forget I can see the number of subscribers I have compared to the number of FB friends I have. Though, I believe many of my subscribers to be bots, the connections and comments given and received over the years are what really matter to me.

Snow is beautiful when you’re inside and don’t have to go out. I’m done with snow for this year–and we’re supposed to get 7 more inches this week. Good luck with settling into your new home. It takes time.

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