Horns Review – Mock Squid Soup No.8 #cinephiles #film #review


Please note, this review contains mature themes.

This review will NOT consist of me asking myself 10 questions and answering them to the best of my ability. I just couldn’t do it this time around. For this review I’m skipping around and giving away some minor spoilers.

I just want to say that I made every attempt to watch this movie without any preconceived notations despite the review from Cherdo.  I really gave this film the benefit of the down, but it simply didn’t deliver. So skipping down to question…

9. What would I rate this movie?

On a scale of 1 to 5 movie reels, I give this film 2 reels.



Here are the notes I took, verbatim (spoilers may be present and you may be offended).

Impressive record collection
Suspect in a murder/rape case, dead girl friend
Relatively famous cast, don’t know the brother Terry.
Lots of unnecessary cussing
Is he seriously supposed to be an asthmatic?
Who’s playing Lee?
Is he driving a gremlin?
He desecrates her memorial site by peeing on it.
His inner monolog is annoying.
What’s wrong with the blonde?
Why is that little girl so bad?
So everyone says what he or she is thinking.
All these people are crazy horrible people.
People forget about the horns when they look away.
Glad there are no black characters in this film aside from the golf pro.
Where is the writer going with this?
So either Lee or his brother killed her because she chose him.
A good little church girl who has sex in a tree house with her boyfriend? Right.
Horrible sex scene followed up by ridiculous sex scene.
A town of hypocrites.
The Anchorman fight scene was much better.
Why is Heather Gram the waitress?
How many dinners actually serve shots?
This movie is still going.
A threesome, but only two people know it’s happening?
I still think Lee did it, but who knows. Don’t care anymore. Only finishing to write review.
When’s this going to end?
Now we have snakes.
Ridiculous gay cop cliché.
The overdose scene was just stupid.
There are still 30 minutes left of this movie.
What did we learn from this boys and girls, “Pick the sin you can live with.” Really?
Really, the necklace?
What a ridiculous shoot out!
What a ridiculous angel demon morph-thing!
OMG there are still 10 minutes left. 5 better be credits.
Yay! 5:49 seconds of credits.

10. Was there anything in this movie that could be related to me or anything I have written?

Sadly, yes.

The theme of good and evil within us all is a theme I write about in my Eternal Curse Series, but I seriously I hope I pull it off better than this film does. Then there is the use of flashbacks. I typically like this technique, but I think it was overused here.

What’s really crazy is that this movie is based on a book. I know movies are never as good as the book, but if the book is anything like the movie- I have no desire to read it. I really hope the writer and director of this film spit all over the novel and said we can do better; if not, wow. I guess someone has to write stories people don’t like. I’m not gonna hate too much. At least this author got a book deal. Good for him or her, whoever they are (I didn’t bother to research it.)

Watch, rent, or buy this movie (at your own risk) here.

Mock Squid Soup – Film Society

MOCK! and The Armchair Squid are proud to introduce Mock Squid Soup: A Film Society. Each month, on the second Friday, we shall host a bloghop devoted to a particular movie. We invite others to watch the same film and post their own reviews…Don’t be shy; come join the fun! 😀

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords

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Toi Thomas

I like reading, writing, cooking, dancing, movies, and music. I'm a big kid and choose to see the world in my own special way. Yes, I'm educated, but I haven't let that stop me from being who I want to be. I'm a wife, teacher, author, blogger, and more.

10 thoughts on “Horns Review – Mock Squid Soup No.8 #cinephiles #film #review”

  1. Oh My Goodness.
    Thank You for watching this movie, so I didn’t have to.
    Adore big time your review. So much information in such a great format.
    You have made my morning. Especially the “5 better be credits”.
    But I am not going to watch this movie.
    Thank You !

    cheers, parsnip

    1. I really was hoping this movie wouldn’t be so bad because I hate writing negative reviews, but oh well.

    1. I always take notes like this when I watch a movie for review, but then I discard them after formatting my ten questions. Maybe I should start doing something special with them.

    1. I don’t usually like to discourage people from trying something for themselves, but I’m okay with it this time.

  2. I had considered this one but couldn’t cue it up. While I agree with Squid that negative reviews can be fun, I also struggle with spending time on things I don’t enjoy fully. Kudos for pushing through!

    1. It was worth the struggle. I feel as if I’ve grown as a person somehow…But seriously, I’m so excited about next month and the clues. Thanks for the great idea.

  3. Somehow, I missed this the first time around but – OH YEAH, we are in agreement. I had so hoped it would’ve been worth watching. And I had some perfectly good laundry to do.

    Loved it, Toi!

    1. I don’t like shopping, it makes me cry and hyperventilate, but I’d rather shop than watch this movie again. To each his own and all that, but this was not for me.

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