A Day in My Life: Apr. ’14: Grief


You may or may not find this surprising, but as a writer I’ve never been much of a journaler (I like making up words). I’ve always kept writing, sketching, and poetry notebooks, but I’ve never really liked writing about myself. This monthly post is my attempt at rectifying that and is an opportunity for me to get a little personal, as I share a single event from my life.


April 2014 – Grief

When you get married or make some kind of commitment to spend the rest of your life with another person, you are welcoming them into your intimate space and making them part of your family. You also become part of their intimate space and become a part of their family. Family has always been important to me. I believe that friends can come and go in your lifetime at the times they are meant to have an impact on you, but those that stick around through it all become family.

I recently lost a loved one in this physical world and am still dealing with it, but I believe in an afterlife. I don’t except everyone to share my beliefs, but I’m not going to hide them either. I believe my sister is in a better place. Even though we were only sisters by marriage, that was more than enough for me.

My husband and I have done our best to spend time with his side of the family and offer as much comfort as we can. I’m glad that we were able to take some time to be there when it mattered most. I love Eric Thomas and the whole Thomas clan, through thick and think, good times and sad.


Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you like it let me know and share it with others. See you next time, Toi Thomas. #thetoiboxofwords

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Toi Thomas

I like reading, writing, cooking, dancing, movies, and music. I'm a big kid and choose to see the world in my own special way. Yes, I'm educated, but I haven't let that stop me from being who I want to be. I'm a wife, teacher, author, blogger, and more.

One thought on “A Day in My Life: Apr. ’14: Grief”

  1. Think like an African, Toi. Most Africans see life in three aspects: the mundane here and now physical world; the realm of the ancestors who, although they have given up the mundane physical, are still very much here with us; and the realm of the spirits. Well, your beloved sister is now an ancestor. That’s an honourable and valued estate, and she’s very much with you every time you think of her. She’ll still be part of your life as long as you remember her and want her to be.

    I understand your grief, and the pain you experience when somebody passes on, but in many ways that is selfishness caused by looking inwards. Look out, and see the great adventure your sister has embarked upon. Be joyful for her, and know that she’s still with you. The sense of loss won’t go away, but the pain will and you’ll have the comfort of knowing she’s still with you, every day.

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